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Mata Khivi was born in
1506 to Karan Devi and Bhai Devi Chand
Khatri. Her father was a shopkeeper
, and was a popular man in the neighbourhood.
She inherited all his finest attributes
of generosity and congenial spirit.
She was married in 1519, when she was
13 years old. Khivi was married to Lahina
for 20 years before he became the second
Guru of the Sikhs. There is historical
evidence that she had 4 children. Dasu,
the eldest was born in 1524. Bibi Amro
was born in 1532, followed by Bibi Anokhi
in 1535 and son Datu in 1537. The family
was content and doing well. As the wife
of one of the town's richest men, Khivi
must have enjoyed a great deal of respect.
Her life was one of luxury and pleasure.
Life would have gone on this way, had
it not been for her coming under the
influence of Mai Bhirai, who told her
about Guru Nanak's teachings. At approximately
the same time, Lahina also heard of
the Guru through Bhai Jodha, one of
Guru Nanak's earliest disciples. Lahina
was a seeker of truth, and his curiosity
was aroused. In 1532, shortly after
the birth of his first daughter Amro,
Lahina set out for his annual pilgrimage.
On the way, he broke his journey at
Kartarpur to see the Guru. On lislening
to Nanak speak, Lahina begged to be
allowed to stay and become his disciple.
He had found the truth he had been seeking,
and would never again stray away from
it. He served his master with the greatest
devotion. He busied himself, sweeping
the visitor's quarters, washing their
clothes and helping with the most menial
work in fields. As his knowledee and
understanding of the new teachings grew,
so did the Guru's affection and approval
of his disciple. This created a problem
for the Guru's sons. Increasingly they
grew jealous of Lahina, and took no
pains to conceal their dislike. Without
a doubt, this kind of stress and strain
would have been very diflicult for Lahina's
wife to deal with. There are no records
of her thoughts or feelings or how she
handled the situation. Had she behaved
in a bad manner during this time, you
can be sure that someone would have
recorded it.
Lahina was 28 years old at the time,
had a wife and two young children. The
Guru he had chosen, spoke of the equality
of women and advocated a normal family
life as the best way to attain salvation.
After serving the Guru for some time,
he was sent back to Khadur to see his
family. His instructions were to take
his time and to spend it spreading the
word of the new faith to all he met.
He did this well, and Guru Nanak was
pleased with the reports he heard of
him. The reports were so good that Guru
Nanak came to his village twice to visit
him and to re-inforce his work with
his own preaching. Khivi also learnt
from her husband, and embraced the new
faith whole heartedly. The women in
the village taunted her, saying that
her husband was becoming an important
holy man, and would, therefore, soon
forsake her. She knew she had nothing
to worry about, and gave birth to two
more children in that period of time.
When Guru Nanak dev ji left this world,
Guru Angad felt a great need to prepare
himself lot the work ahead. Nihali,
a devout woman disciple, made her house
available to him, while he prayed and
meditated for six months. He allowed
her to supply him with milk, but otherwise
asked to be left alone.
When Lahina became Guru Angad, second
Guru of the Sikhs, life became very
busy for Khivi. People were now coming
to her house to see their Guru. She
had always been accustomed to a busy
social life, but this was different.
There was a purpose to all this coming
and going that had not been there before.
Moreover, Sikh teaching was very clear
that one must earn one's living through
onc's own labour. Khivi took These teachings
very seriously. She took upon herself
the onerous task of managing every detail
of the langar. Only the best possible
ingredients were used, and everyone
was treated with utmost courtesy. Her
hospitality has been emulated over the
centuries and has become the first cultural
identity of the Sikhs. She helped The
Guru in establishing the infant Sikh
community on a stronger footing. She
has been described as good natured,
efficient, beautiful and all round perfect.
She has the distinction of being the
only one of the Guru's wives to he mentioned
by name in Guru Granth Sahib. There
she is described as a "good person",
"an affectionate mother" and
as "one who provides shelter and
protection to others."
Mata Khivi ji did much more than work
in the kitchen. She created a loving
atmosphere for all whom she camc in
contact with. She and Guru Angad dev
ji were very fond of their children.
They lavished their love and affection
on not only their own, but on any child
in the community. Their commitment was
so strong that it gave a beautiful example
to all who witnessed it. The Guru took
great delight in spending time with
the children, teaching them a modified
version of the Punjahi script which
was easier to learn by the illiterate
masses. This new script, which was his
invention, soon became known as Gurmukhi
script. He is credited in popularising
this alphabet, in which the Guru Granth
Sahib is written. Each day there was
special time set aside first to teach
the children and delight in their clever
ways. Then they would watch the children
at play, and often watch wrestling matches
together. From the games, the Guru would
draw lessons for his congregation. Guru
Angad, with the help of Bhai Bala and
other disciples, wrote the first "Life"
of Guru Nanak, and this work became
the first published prose of the Punjabi
language.
Mata Khivi ji lived for thirty years
after her husband's death. She continued
to serve the community and remained
associated with the Guru's house in
all that time. When Guru Angad passed
the succession to Guru Amar Das, his
son Datu was very disappointed. Encouraged
by some of his friends, he tried to
declare himself the rightful heir. He
took his following and they sang hymns
by themselves. Khivi was quite upset.
When Datu developed headaches, she was
able to persuade him that his responsibility
was too much for him. The only way to
cure the headache is to go back to the
rightful Guru and beg his forgiveness.
She took her son back to Guru Amar Das,
who on hearing that she was coming,
came out to meet her half way. All was
forgiven. Datu's headaches disappeared
and Sikhism was sparcd another schism,
thanks to Khivi's intervention. Khivi
continued to manage Guru Amar Das's
kitchen. She was proud of her children
till the day she died. Her daughter
Bibi Amro had married Bhai Jasoo of
Basarke village. He was the son of Bhai
Manak Chand and nephow of Guru Amar
Das. Bibi Amro had become a preacher
of Sikhism, and it is she who transformed
the life of Guru Amar Das by introducing
him to the teachings she had learnt
from her father Guru Angad. Later, when
Amar Das organised the teaching of Sikhism
into specific districts and jurisdictions,
he gave her a Manji, that is, he appointed
her head ot a diocese. Being appointed
to head a Manji would be the equivalent
of being a bishop in the Christian Church.
She was responsible not only tor the
quality of the preaching, but also for
collecting revenues and making decisions
for the welfare of her diocese. Her
diocese or Manji included Basarke, her
husband's village. Today, close to the
modern village of Basarke an old tank
(man-made pond) bears the name of Bibi
Amro Da Talab (Tank of Bibi Amro) in
her memory.
Mata hivi ji had the distinction of
meeting five Gurus. She lived to the
agc of 75 and died in the year 1582.
Guru Arjun Dev attended her funeral.
Her contributions to the Sikh cause
can easily be divided into three parts.
The first period was the twenty years
of marriage before Guru Angad succeeded
Guru Nanak. This period was a test not
only for Angad, but for her as well.
Any decisions he made affected her very
much. Her response would also have affected
his actions. She never complained, nor
did anything to deter him from his objectives.
The second period of her life as wife
of the Guru was extraordinary in its
devotion and dedication to the cause.
The third and last period would be after
her husband died. She continued to nourish
the Sikh community and to work tirelessly
for that which she now believed in with
all her heart.
She had a long productive life. She
worked hard and was loved by all. Her
good humour and pleasant personality
made a large contribution to the spirit
of hospitality, which is now considered
an essential trait of Sikh culture.
She is quite possibly the first woman
of her era who ever worked outside her
immediate family home and obligations
at a time when her children were very
young. She handled both roles admirably
well. It is time that Sikhs acknowledge
her very important contribution.
Copyright © Alice Basarke "Her
Story "
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